longing to behold
Over the years, I've become increasingly aware of a very real tension of attempting to define God and feeling like I am losing God in some way the more I attempt to describe Him. At first I think it seemed like I was merely reacting against those who defined God in such a way that excluded others or used a belief system like a powerful weapon against those who disagreed. It was a reaction against these things--but it was more. It seemed that the more controlling reign I sought on my "doctrine" the more God became less God--and One in whom I needed to protect. Within Convergence, I have seen emerge a community who is willing to wrestle with letting God of a fine-tuned required language about God and embracing the mystery of God. It has been such a refreshing time to be a part of a community who is willing to leave questions unanswered, struggle openingly with highs and lows of life, and become increasingly aware that God is both known and unknowable---both the One in whom we can have all of our life wrapped up in and yet not have all the answers about life.
Tim Keel describes what I am attempting to express in words from his own journey (from his Leadership Journal article, Naked in the Pulpit). They have encouraged me many times over the years . . .
Comprehension is understanding; apprehension is beholding. Cognitive people seek comprehension; contemplative people look for apprehension. In our preaching we often seek to understand God, to use language to describe who or what God is. That kind of description can be deceptive. It can be a form of control.
We know from the Bible that any god we can control is no real god but an idol. Our preaching must reckon with the reality that Yahweh is shrouded, mysterious, and often inaccessible. How can we comprehend that?
Apprehension is simply stepping back and marveling at what it is we behold, even if we have no idea who it is or what is happening. For a scriptural reference, the psalms of lament are a good starting point, as is Job.
If the only kind of speech we use is speech that deals with comprehension, then we will only talk about that which we understand. As a preacher, I am invited to describe a reality that I am just beginning to get the hint of. That means being willing not to know, to stumble over language so I might tell a story. I'm not so interested in merely providing comprehension; I'm interested in describing reality, even if that leaves room for confusion.
We'll explore more of the implecations of making room in our life beyond comprehension to "apprehension is beholding" in the next several weeks of the Gathering (every Sunday 5pm) conversation.
rethread is back!
Rethread is back - and ready to neighborhood families BACK TO SCHOOL.
Check out the latest email update for info (or read below):
UPCOMING STORE:
"Back To School Store" Saturday August 14Rethread has returned and is ready to help make Back to School easier on families in the greater Plaza District area. As always, we are relying on YOU for donations to stock the store. But, this year, we're adding both USED + NEW items to the store. You can help build Rethread's *FREE* Clothing Store in 3 ways:
1. DONATE JEANS & BACKPACKS
Bring your gently used JEANS & BACKPACKS by Convergence(1755 nw 16th street) by appointment, please call Daran at 405.209.7429 or email daran@rethreadokc.com. We need toddler through teen sizes.2. TAKE ACTION
Sign up to play one or more of the many different volunteer roles to make the Rethread Store happen.3. PURCHASE SHOES FOR A CHILD
Buy (donate) a new $10 pair of kids shoes on our new website. Simply click the Donate New Shoes button and we'll shop to stock the store with brand new kids shoes.CONTACT INFO:
info@rethreadokc.com
405.209.7439
awareness and it’s affect/effect [daily examen]
Tonight, in the Gathering, we will practice the Daily Examen. This has been an important practice in our pursuit of being more aware of God, of others, and our interior life. We have a pdf of the practice available in on our Resources page.
A few steps to follow to enter into the Daily Examen:
* Slow down your mind, and enter silence.
* Breathe deeply in and out. On every breath in, pray for God's nearness. On every breath out, pray for letting go of your life. (John 3:30)
* After a few moments, REWIND your day or week. Now scan through your interactions with people, words spoke, thoughts you thought, feelings you felt. Scan over moments with strangers, co-workers, with friends and family. Replay your actions, your work, your play, your moments alone. As you do, look for the "thin places."
Samir Selmanovic, in his book, It’s All Really About God, writes,
“Thin places are stopping places where we, for at least a moment, step into what lies beyond the doorway of the world limited to our five senses. These experiences confirm our hopes and bind us to our beliefs. Two worlds become one.”
* While examining your moments - don't force it - relax and prayerfully breath deep. this is not an exercise to find and share the most profound moment---it is an exercise in resting in God's nearness.
* After finding a moment to settle in on . . . consider the questions:
How is my Life Touched?
Is there an invitation here?
We are engaging the practice specifically to see where being AWARE of God and others and self is taking us. We are not meant for passivity - for boredom - but for creativity and life (see further thoughts from Matthew Fox on this). As a community, Convergence, and as individuals - How is the trajectory of our life influenced and resulting differently because of our AWARENESS of God?
We are asking the question within Convergence this way . . .
What affect (influence) is God having in our life? What effect (result) is it causing in the path of our lives?
the way before us: creativity or “death-bringing”
I picked up the book Creativity by Matthew Fox to pour over it a second time. His subtitle is "Where the Divine and Human Meet" - it's at this point of creativity, for Fox, that we've been made. I find the idea quite intriguing. Creativity---seeing life emerge in our way of living, in our expression, in our work, in our sons and daughters, that this is the essence of the ikon of God humanity carries.
He builds his case for creativity in the first chapter by stating what humanity is not (via negativa):
We are not consumers - for most of our existence humanity has been makers not consumers.
We are not addicts - we have exchanged our interior expression for external dictatorships.
We are not passive -
"It is not the essence of the human to be passive. We are players. We are actors on many stages. We initiate contacts, ideas, movements, inventions, babies, institutions, sport, exercise, relationships of all kinds. We are curious, we are yearning to wonder, we are longing to be amazed, we are eager to grow, to learn, to be excited, to be enthusiastic, to be expressive. In short, to be alive. Passivity is a sign of sickness, of weakness, of dying." Matthew Fox, Creativity
We are not boring - wonder, beauty, and life can be seen everywhere in us.
We need not be bored -
"If we are alive and interacting with all the marvel of daily existence, if we are learning how others, living and deceased, related to the marvel of existence, then we will not be bored. We will not be reduced to depression where we have no energy to begin new things." - Matthew Fox
We are not cogs in a machine - the modern era left us with the notion that the universe is a machine. Meaninglessness, numbness, isolation, coldness, sterility, and dysfunction choke out creativity.
We are not destroyers - We often choose to destroy, but this is a choice. Our imaginations are so powerful, we can either create or destroy.
"What is before us is the power of creativity--it is a life-and-death power. What is also before us is choice: It is a daily choice, an everyday choice, one that arises in all our relations from parenting to grandparenting, from work worlds to educational ones, from religion to economics, business, politics, and citizenship in all its forms. It affects what we eat and what we throw away; how we live and what we choose to say no to. This is the power of creativity. 'Creativity' may be the nearest one-word definition we possess for the essence of our humanity, for the true meaning of 'soul.'"
After reading Fox's thoughts - I can't help but ask myself - What affect/effect is awareness having in me/us? What is being birthed? What way of life is emerging beyond this life of addiction, consumption, boredom, and passivity?
Read Deuteronomy 30 - do you see this contrast of life and death - creativity or "death-bringing"?
How do you react to Fox's attempt to wake us up from the slumber that quiets creativity?
a bicycle dismantled . . . a life retreived
This past sunday was a Film&Dialogue format for The Gathering. We had the great opportunity to view Jitensha (Bicycle). It was a great conversation around the way all of us experience certain seasons of "dismantling". It's in these often slow downward descents that it seems our life is slipping through our fingers---unable to grasp and control anything. We talked about God being in those moments--not just waiting on the other side with wholeness for us. The ways we see God must not be limited to pleasant sunrises and brighter days. We also talked about the movement from isolation to connectedness. We find at the beginning of the story, Mamoru (main character), has completely cut himself off from everyone. And through the journey--his "life being retrieved" includes the awkward vulnerable inclusion of others in his life.
Here are a few of the questions that we worked through last Sunday. I encourage you to continue the conversation here . . .
"Dear Thief, Whoever you are just take the whole thing! I don't get it, this bit-by-bit business! It's all yours. - Mamoru"
*What is the significance of 'bit-by-bit' in both dismantling and retrieving life?
"This is the world in which you live...-God"
*why is this statement important even for us? what does the story speak about being present?
*when have you gone through a similar dismantling - desperation - retrieved process?
*why do you think God is seen in the dismantling or darkness of life?
*how do you see God in the journey or unfolding in his/our rebuilding process?
*how does a story like this give us hope and grace for ourselves and others? how does it reduce our tendency toward labeling/judging?
together, we taste and . . . [communion baking sign-up]
"His Body Broken . . . His Blood Poured Out . . . His life in us," are the words you will often hear as we gather around the bread and cup of Christ at our gathering. Our senses are engaged, and together, we taste and are reminded of Christ's sacrifice. Together, we taste and our imagination goes to a future table where all are welcome. Together, we taste and are centered in His embrace, longing to see His life in all.
When the Convergence Community gathers, we often gather around meals, especially around the Eucharist. Our experiences of communion are multilayered--Sara Miles experience of communion gives me hope that communion can be central to the deep experience of shared life with God and one another.
EXPERIENCE: -excerpt from Take This Bread by Sara Miles on her first communion:
What happened a few minutes later is a mystery. I still can't explain my first Communion; it made no sense. I was in tears and physically unbalanced: I felt as if I had just stepped off a curb, or been knocked over, painlessly, from behind. The disconnect between what I thought was happening—I was eating a piece of bread; what I heard someone else say was happening—the piece of bread was the “body” of “Christ,” a patently untrue, or at best metaphorical statement; and what I knew was happening—God, named “Christ” or “Jesus,” was real, and in my mouth—utterly short-circuited my ability to do anything but cry. . . . Taste and see, the Bible said, and I did. I was tasting a connection between Communion and food—between my burgeoning religion and my real life. My first year at church ended with a question whose urgency would propel me into work I’d never imagined: Now that you’ve taken the bread, what are you going to do?
TASTE: Communion Bread by Heather Ariyeh
A few years ago Heather began baking weekly for our shared communion. It's become one of the rhythms many of us look forward to - tasting and seeing.
2 cups organic flour (plus more for rolling, etc.)
1/8 cup organic olive oil
3/4 cup water
1 tsp - 1 tbsp kosher salt (it has coarser crystals)
organic olive oil spray (optional)
Preheat Oven to 450 degrees.
Mix 2 c, flour, 1/8 c. olive oil, water and salt together in a bowl until combined. I like to use a fork to mix. Knead dough with floured hands, adding flour as needed until dough is no longer sticky. When it becomes a non-sticky, self-contained ball that no longer clings to the bowl, you’re done.
Lightly coat rolling pin in flour, and roll out dough onto a floured surface until approximately 1/4 inch thick. Transfer to a baking sheet covered in wax paper.
If you want, cut into shapes or pattern using a knife or cookie cutters. May help to lightly coat knife with flour, or even sometimes to wet knife (I realize these seem to conflict - but I am still experimenting!) b/c it creates a smoother edge. Score dough with a knife (butter knife works) so it is easier to break later. Use a fork to poke holes in the dough. This prevents air bubbles. You can make a pattern with this as well.
Spray bread with olive oil spray or apply a thin coat of regular olive oil.
Bake at 450 degrees for approximately 11 minutes (may be more or less - my oven is weird). I bake until bread is dry and starts to turn golden brown in spots. Remove and let cool.
SHARED:
Please consider continuing this rhythm by signing up for the next several weeks. Make it a household experience, invite friends over, plan to get the kiddos in the kitchen, get everyone involved in the baking, telling the unfolding story of Jesus breaking the bread and pouring the cup.
July 18 - Community Meal (no communion meal)
July 25 - Gary & Kathy Caplinger
August 01 - Missie
August 08 - Jacob & Christine Riesenweber
August 15 - Community Meal (no communion meal)
August 22 - bread needed
August 29 - bread needed
Blurring the Lines Between You and Me
Our conversation on Solidarity last week has really stuck with me since. Kathy and I watched the Chris Tse video again together and talked about some of the ideas he brought up in his slam. The primary thought that has seemed to confront me many times since our conversation is how easy it is to label and judge and hate when the object of those feelings and actions is far away (either geographically or just in one's consciousness). But when we are in relationship with that person, it is much more difficult to live and act and feel in those ways. It seems that for Jesus the lines between self and "the other" were blurred enough to connect and identify. "The fruit of the Sprit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
Last night I watched a documentary "Missionaries of Hate" on the growing target on homosexuals in Uganda. A long-running stigma against homosexuals was ramped up last year after several evangelical pastors from the US came in and spoke to local pastors and large groups warning them against the "gay agenda." The universally successful tactic of fear of the unknown proved to be an easy sell for these pastors, who terrified the Ugandans saying their children were the target of a well-organized plot to recruit them into that lifestyle and to use them in abusive ways. They, along with a popular local pastor, portrayed the most obscure, graphic acts as normative in that type of lifestyle, stirring up rage within the community and country.
Soon after the visit from the pastors/missionaries, the country introduced laws imposing life-sentence terms for first offenders and death by hanging for multiple offenders. Even if you merely know someone practicing homosexuality, you are subject to imprisonment for not reporting them within 48 hrs. This hatred and vitriol were countered by the personal interviews with a few homosexual Ugandans. These individuals were humble, gentle, and kind, not returning hatred for hatred. I wondered with whom Christ would identify himself in this chaos.
Later that night I saw a tweet from my favorite singer-songwriter Ryan Adams on the memorial service for Ronnie James Dio, heavy metal rocker for Black Sabbath and Dio. Throughout Dio's career, he was targeted by fundamentalist Christians as the "poster child" of devil worshipping hard rockers. I read on CNN, "Church Plans to Picket Rocker Dio's Memorial Service" that the vengeful group from Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, KS) was going to picket his memorial service. As I read through the article, I paused on a statement from Dio's wife, Wendy, about the protest. "Ronnie hates prejudice and violence. We need to turn the other cheek on these people that only know how to hate someone they didn't know," she said. She (and I assume Ronnie) seem to get the idea of solidarity (or lack there of)...to "only know how to hate someone they [don't] know." Once again, I wondered with whom Jesus would identify?
Solidarity seems to be getting both more and less complicated all at the same time to me. But in the midst of the confusion, one thing is becoming more clear, that for me to change the way I view others I have to blur the sharply defined lines between myself and the other, and welcome her/him into my life. Because, to know someone changes the equation in how I choose to judge or bring harm to her/him. On top of that, my perspectives that have been formed over a lifetime on who is playing for which team (in/out, right/wrong, etc) are constantly being shaken. In the examples above, one set of groups is saying they represent the Christ, while the other groups who have been portrayed as enemies of God seem to be living out many of the values of the kingdom Christ initiated...love, patience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, peace, self-control?
exploring community within [practice]
DIRECTED SILENCE: exploring community within (inspired by a tilden edwards practice)
"Close your eyes and let your imagination take your through your body with a focus on its spacious and miraculous quality. Emphasizing the spaciousness can include a sense of openness of forms." From within to skin, head to toe, shoulders to fingers explore the boundaries of your body.
Now imagine the boundaried ends of your body to no longer be hard lines but shadings.
After several minutes, now imagine the shadings of your boundaries extending to the ones around you. Imagine the ones around you to extend to the streets, to those you'll encounter this week, both familiar and stranger, both those that love you and those who are enemies.
After a few more minutes, imagine the shadings of humanity to be extended to God--you and I are not God, but we are connected to the Creator and Sustainer of all life.
As we end, offer a prayer of gratitude for "the wonder of this interwoven community within and beyond."
i’m sorry… [video]
We watched this video during out conversation about *solidarity. What creates barriers to solidarity (unity that breaks barriers)? If a picture of solidarity is an deep embrace of the other, how does this video speak to the idea of solidarity?
What does the video stir in you?
embracing restoration through *solidarity
the second of our Embracing Restoration posts . . .
If *hospitality is a picture of arms wide open, then *solidarity is the long embrace that follows the welcome. It's others being brought near and allowing ourselves to be open, humble, and vulnerable to let others near us.
What comes to mind when you read the word solidarity? One of the definitions that is sticking for us is Solidarity as unity that breaks barriers. A shared life that brings us together overcoming barriers.
We considered a poem that speaks plainly about the tragic and misguided aspects of Christian history while asking, "what are our barriers to solidarity"? (following post)
The unfolding story reveals a progression of understanding---from "love your neighbor as yourself" to the radical and always intended way of life in Jesus' words, ""You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies..."
Solidarity is the path toward intimacy - and the beginning of intimacy is 'putting yourself in another's shoes' - making them human. When we label others, then we make them less than human, which allows for us to hate, use, or simply ignore the other. Albert Nolan writes,
"Our problem is that the ego treats everyone, even those who are close to us, as objects. The ego sees them as objects to be used, to be possessed, to be accommodated and cultivated or to be hated and rejected. They may be objects of interest or not; they may be seen as sex objects or even as objects to be pitied, charity cases. But what the self-centered ego never sees them as is subjects, as persons."
But, Jesus says, just as we are aware of our own existence, let us see that others, even our enemies, are human, with lives, loves, histories, futures, dreams, needs, everything that we live with, they too live with.
Hospitality makes room for all people while solidarity embeds in us others humanness, their value, and their deep connection with one another. May we be willing open our lives to a connectedness that breaks these barriers.
Convergence is a community embracing restoration through awareness, hospitality, and solidarity.
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our writings
DURING THE FORTY...
OTHERS:
* Engaging Advent (Xmas 09)
* My Year in Review (Jan09)
* Awareness Retreat (Fall 09)
* Awaken Retreat (Spring 09)
* Metanoina: forty days (Lent) to face a fundamental shift
* Community Is . . .
Categories of Posts
- AWARENESS (19)
- BEAUTY (6)
- COMMUNITY (9)
- HOSPITALITY (2)
- SOLIDARITY (8)
- STORY (9)
currently reading…
The Bible as Improv: Seeing and Living the Script in New Ways
Ron Martoia
The Orthodox Heretic: And Other Impossible Tales
Peter Rollins
Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening
Cynthia Bourgeault
Jesus Freak: Feeding Healing Raising the Dead
Sara Miles
The Voice New Testament
Thomas Nelson
Jesus Today: A Spirituality of Radical Freedom
Albert Nolan
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